71, and anyone else who rides horses

[TarHeelNation11]

(Full disclosure, I don't know if @UNC71-00 rides or just watches his daughters / wife ride horses)

For those who ride horses, just how hard is it to learn? Keep in mind I'm white, not flexible, and my balance sucks. My girlfriend is an avid horse owner / rider and has decided she wants me to learn how to ride as soon as she sells one of her current horses and replaces it with one that's safe for beginners to ride. Shoot me straight....are my balls going to be bruised like hell the next day? How easy is it to fall off?

I despise situations like these where I have to completely check my pride at the door, so I just want to prepare myself for how difficult it's going to be, beforehand. Luckily, it's her own private pasture, so it ain't like a ton of people are going to be there to see me Christopher Reeves myself.

Thoughts?

 

[gunslingerdick]

 

[Hark_The_Sound_2010]

I think I've ridden a horse twice in my life. So I'm not exactly the best person to chime in on this. Although my cousin (female) is an avid horse rider, and went to school for equine studies and does equestrian and all that stuff (not that it is really of any use here, but figured I'd toss that in there anyways).

I was always under the impression that riding a horse was easy if the horse wanted to be ridden - but almost impossible if the horse didn't want to be ridden.

 

[HeelFan58]

I have an understanding with horses: If I don't get on their backs then they won't throw me off. I did use to like me some mule riding after getting high though. The mules are pretty slow.

 

[HeelFan58]

How easy is it to fall off?

Depends on how bad they want to throw your azz off. Once they set their mind to it , it's pretty inevitable and you can just hope for the softest landing. That's why I struck that deal with horses.

 

[gunslingerdick]

I have an understanding with horses: If I don't get on their backs then they won't throw me off. I did use to like me some mule riding after getting high though. The mules are pretty slow.

I once rode a mule named Bessie. I was on her for all of about 10 seconds before it threw me for a loop and I landed on my head. I was 14 and that was the end of my mule riding or horse riding days. Horses kind of weird me out anyway. I like looking at them, I guess. But I have no desire to have one/ride one/ take care of one.

 

[JuleZ '02 HEEL]

I had a Great Dane when I was a kid. Close enough?

 

[Hark_The_Sound_2010]

I had a Great Dane when I was a kid. Close enough?

Only if you rode it...

 

[tarheel0910]

I was always under the impression that riding a horse was easy if the horse wanted to be ridden - but almost impossible if the horse didn't want to be ridden.

It's been around 20 years since I have been on a horse, but what you said is the best way to describe it. As far as your balls falling off @TarHeelNation11 that depends a lot on how fast you ride. If you are just going on a slow walk then you'll be ok. If you want to start racing then you might feel it in the morning.

 

[gunslingerdick]

Shoot me straight....are my balls going to be bruised like hell the next day?

Well apparently your new girlfriend keeps them in her purse so I think you'll be ok.

 

[TarHeelNation11]

You spend more time searching drag pics than is probably healthy.

Well apparently your new girlfriend keeps them in her purse so I think you'll be ok.

Well played.

 

[gunslingerdick]

You spend more time searching drag pics than is probably healthy.

What are you talking about? That's me and a buddy of mine at the county fair last year.

 

[UNC71-00]

(Full disclosure, I don't know if @UNC71-00 rides or just watches his daughters / wife ride horses)

For those who ride horses, just how hard is it to learn? Keep in mind I'm white, not flexible, and my balance sucks. My girlfriend is an avid horse owner / rider and has decided she wants me to learn how to ride as soon as she sells one of her current horses and replaces it with one that's safe for beginners to ride. Shoot me straight....are my balls going to be bruised like hell the next day? How easy is it to fall off?

I despise situations like these where I have to completely check my pride at the door, so I just want to prepare myself for how difficult it's going to be, beforehand. Luckily, it's her own private pasture, so it ain't like a ton of people are going to be there to see me Christopher Reeves myself.

Thoughts?

It's not your balls that will be sore.

With regards to staying on- it is as someone else said- it depends on the horse. And if she puts you on one that throws you off, she did that on purpose. But generally speaking, riding them around in a circle or following another one on a trail is easy (although you will feel it the next day). Falling off is only an issue if you are jumping them or if you get on one that doesn't want you there.

Although I suppose it could spook- that's a whole different can of worms.

 

[TarHeelNation11]

It's not your balls that will be sore.

With regards to staying on- it is as someone else said- it depends on the horse. And if she puts you on one that throws you off, she did that on purpose. But generally speaking, riding them around in a circle or following another one on a trail is easy (although you will feel it the next day). Falling off is only an issue if you are jumping them or if you get on one that doesn't want you there.

Although I suppose it could spook- that's a whole different can of worms.

Hmm okay, thanks. That makes me feel better.

To be perfectly blunt, I've never seen the appeal of horses. I hate the way they smell and I hate how flies flock to them, and thus, me. That being said, I think it would be a cool skill to add to the repertoire if I can get serviceable at it. Plus, blowj's are blowj's, regardless of how you earn them.

 

[gunslingerdick]

... if you are jumping them or if you get on one that doesn't want you there.

 

[Raising Heel]

Didn't realize there's a band on same sex marriage, but I'm not into all that freaky shit.

 

[heelmanwilm]

i've been around em 30 yrs or so. She'll put u on a docile animal and you'll be fine. But sore as hell.

Just remember this if u remember anything

Never, never, ever ever ever never EVERRRRRRRRRRRR.......!!!!!!!!!!!!.......
.........Stand behind a horse

Theres two things happen back there and u dont want any part of either

 

[TarHeelNation11]

i've been around em 30 yrs or so. She'll put u on a docile animal and you'll be fine. But sore as hell.

Just remember this if u remember anything

Never, never, ever ever ever never EVERRRRRRRRRRRR.......!!!!!!!!!!!!.......
.........Stand behind a horse

Theres two things happen back there and u dont want any part of either

This post made this thread worthwhile. Thanks!

 

[Raising Heel]

 

[tarheel0910]

Just found some footage of @TarHeelNation11 trying it out this morning.

 

[TarHeelNation11]

Just found some footage of @TarHeelNation11 trying it out this morning.

So I've put on a few pounds. What of it?