I shoplifted today

[TarHeelNation11]

...accidentally. I was lost in thought and contemplation as I walked in to the Circle K, filled up my $0.69 Polar Cup with Mountain Dew, grabbed a Cliff Bar from the shelf, and walked right past the cashier and out of the store.......

Got to my car, sat down, put the keys in the ignition, turned it over, and thought to myself wait.....something seems off. OH I FORGOT TO PAY! ....I ran back in the store, apologized like an idiot, and paid my $2.22.

Y'all ever been so distracted by something or just so "out of it" that you've done (or forgot to do) something so stupid it just makes you shake your head?

 

[JuleZ '02 HEEL]

Sure. More now that I'm chronically sleep deprived. What was the question again?

 

[gunslingerdick]

 

[BillyL]

I once swiped a can of tuna from the Sac-o-Suds . .

 

[TarHeelNation11]

Microaggression. Figures of authority can be female.

 

[heelz2345]

 

[TarHeelNation11]

Spongebob is one of the best cartoons from my generation.

 

[Hark_The_Sound_2010]

^ It was probably free Coke day, but since THN got a Mountain Dew it didn't qualify.

 

[TarHeelNation11]

I have an OOTB problem. I just got legit sad that "I shoplifted today" isn't an easily rhymed phrase for parody threads

 

[tarheel0910]

Spongebob is the worst cartoon from any generation.

FIFY

 

[TarHeelNation11]

^ It was probably free Coke day, but since THN got a Mountain Dew it didn't qualify.

 

[HeelFan58]

Reminds me of a song

 

[gunslingerdick]

I went to jail for stealing a Slim Jim (it was the Giant Slim) when I was 16 years old.

I was drinking and had been skinny dipping with 3 super hot girls at my buddy's pool. One of the girls was taking me home (and I had plans to turn her out) when I told her to stop in the Stop In. I went in the store to buy a couple things when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. At that moment I remembered leaving it on the table next to the pool. But I didn't want to drive all the way back to my friend's house to get it and we all know there are few better things to eat when you're drunk than a Slim Jim. So I grabbed one, walked over to the drink aisle, looked both ways down the aisle to make sure no one was watching and I casually lifted my shirt and stuck the Slim Jim in my pants (go ahead @chick_bleeds_carolina_blue have at that one). Little did I know, the store manager was behind the drinks, stocking them. He came running out yelling that he'd already called the police and that he had it all on camera. I didn't run. And to this day, I'm still not sure why I didn't. I was stunned (and drunk). The police were there pretty quickly though so I wouldn't have gotten too far anyway. A lady cop cuffed me and walked me out to the car. A bunch of my buddies were hanging out in the parking lot across the street. They had a ball hollering at me as I was being escorted to the car.

The lady cop was super cool though. She knew I'd been drinking and she asked me if my parents were going to be pissed at me. I obviously answered that they would. So she gave me a bunch of mints to help cover up the beer breath I had and she said, "you're already going to get in trouble for this, it doesn't need to be made worse by them knowing you've been drinking."

Moral of the story: Be careful before you snap into a Slim Jim.

 

[HeelFan58]

I was once in a Rose's early to mid 70's and about 10 LP's(record albums) found their way up my over sized Army surplus field jacket. I calmly walked out the store , although I am still banned from the city limits of several towns.

 

[chick_bleeds_carolina_blue]

I went to jail for stealing a Slim Jim (it was the Giant Slim) when I was 16 years old.

I was drinking and had been skinny dipping with 3 super hot girls at my buddy's pool. One of the girls was taking me home (and I had plans to turn her out) when I told her to stop in the Stop In. I went in the store to buy a couple things when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. At that moment I remembered leaving it on the table next to the pool. But I didn't want to drive all the way back to my friend's house to get it and we all know there are few better things to eat when you're drunk than a Slim Jim. So I grabbed one, walked over to the drink aisle, looked both ways down the aisle to make sure no one was watching and I casually lifted my shirt and stuck the Slim Jim in my pants (go ahead @chick_bleeds_carolina_blue have at that one). Little did I know, the store manager was behind the drinks, stocking them. He came running out yelling that he'd already called the police and that he had it all on camera. I didn't run. And to this day, I'm still not sure why I didn't. I was stunned (and drunk). The police were there pretty quickly though so I wouldn't have gotten too far anyway. A lady cop cuffed me and walked me out to the car. A bunch of my buddies were hanging out in the parking lot across the street. They had a ball hollering at me as I was being escorted to the car.

The lady cop was super cool though. She knew I'd been drinking and she asked me if my parents were going to be pissed at me. I obviously answered that they would. So she gave me a bunch of mints to help cover up the beer breath I had and she said, "you're already going to get in trouble for this, it doesn't need to be made worse by them knowing you've been drinking."

Moral of the story: Be careful before you snap into a Slim Jim.

Well if the manager had not seen you, you definitely could have walked out with it in your pants. With all that room in there you could have swiped a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon too!

 

[gunslingerdick]

Well if the manager had not seen you, you definitely could have walked out with it in your pants. With all that room in there you could have swiped a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon too!

Not bad. You're getting there.

 

[tarheel0910]

...accidentally. I was lost in thought and contemplation as I walked in to the Circle K, filled up my $0.69 Polar Cup with Mountain Dew, grabbed a Cliff Bar from the shelf, and walked right past the cashier and out of the store.......

Got to my car, sat down, put the keys in the ignition, turned it over, and thought to myself wait.....something seems off. OH I FORGOT TO PAY! ....I ran back in the store, apologized like an idiot, and paid my $2.22.

Y'all ever been so distracted by something or just so "out of it" that you've done (or forgot to do) something so stupid it just makes you shake your head?

This could have been avoided if you weren't on tinder while you were in the store.

 

[TarHeelNation11]

This could have been avoided if you weren't on tinder while you were in the store.

It was your wife's account that had me distracted, so really this is your fault.