Look at this woman.

[Raising Heel]

I'm serious. Look at her right now. Click this link, watch at least 30 seconds of the video there -- no cheating -- and rejoin me at the bottom of this post only after you have seen enough:

< < < ( ( ( Red Copper Pan ) ) ) > > >




Now, try to convince me she's not somebody's crazy grandma trying to kill us all by exposing us to highly contaminant cookware that was designed by DuPont to wipe the human race off the face of the earth. You can't. You can't convince me. (I like how she exclaims, "Forever!")

This saleswoman extraordinaire is none other than Cathy Mitchell. What? You don't know who Cathy Mitchell is? Well, I didn't either, which is why I had to do some investigative research. We need answers, dammit.

I started with YouTube. And wouldn't you know it. The second link for "Red Copper Pan Cathy Mitchell" was this little gem. It's a commercial for Dump Cakes. You heard me: Dump. Cakes.



It's another wild Saturday night here in Charlotte. Also, I took a nap today. It gave me special powers.

 

[tarheel0910]

 

[Raising Heel]

I haven't had a drop tonight. Naps, man. Naps.

 

[strummingram]

Finally... a frying pan I can drive over.

I'm also curious as to why it needs to be dishwasher safe. It always looked spotless.

 

[Heels Noir]

Cathy Mitchell -- wouldya?

I certainly would. Any woman who can merely dump a bunch of crap into a baking pan and produced such beautiful desserts has got to be good in the sack.

 

[gteeitup]

saw the "dump cakes" ad a year ago.

thought it was the "oops i crapped my pants" follow up from snl.

this pan though, how'd that even get past inspection????

 

[Raising Heel]

saw the "dump cakes" ad a year ago.

Bullsh*t. You're a f***ing liar. I don't believe you for a second. Why would you make up something like that? It's hurtful.

Hey, I just noticed that the website is "buydumpcakes.com". Am I to believe that "dumpcakes.com" was already taken? Was Cathy caught up in some kind of legal imbroglio with another cooking-expert-to-be that forced her to settle for a second-rate website name? We may never know. This thing might go deeper than anyone ever imagined.

 

[TarHeelNation11]

This whole thread: