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Message From Pulaski County Sherriff's Office

WhatTheHeel?

All-American
Mar 31, 2002
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From the Pulaski County Sheriffs Office. Public announcement.

Happy 420 Day to all you Blazers, Smokers, Jokers, and Midnight Tokers! Marijuana laws in Virginia can be described as the old saying goes, “the times, they are a changing,” and starting July 1st, 2021, much will be changed. Please please please do your own research concerning the use, possession, and cultivation of the devil’s lettuce. And by research, I don’t mean asking your uncle Ricky after he has just tapped out a 3 foot tower bong and he is covered in Doritos dust. That would be like going to a gentleman’s club and believing every dancer that says you are their favorite! If you choose to partake in the happy herb, it is your responsibility to know and understand all the laws and the specific dates as they pertain to it.

Now I’m not telling anyone to do this, but if you decide to fire up a big ol’ fattie once the magical date gets here, PCSO would like you to please keep a few things in mind:
• Driving impaired is driving impaired. It doesn’t matter if you are under the influence of firewater or Juanita’s wonders, you can not cruise around in an old Volkswagen van laying down a smoke screen with fifty eleven of your friends inside trying to see who can laugh the longest at the shopping cart that somebody put big googley eyes on.
• Public use of the green goblin is still a no go. Please don’t think it’s a good idea to torch up a handful of giggle weed in the middle of Sunday School, because it’s not. Even if public consumption wasn’t against the law, you would still need to worry about the church lady who carries a big wooden spoon in her pocketbook for occasions such as this.
• Please remember that the law for cultivation of puffer plants allows 4 PLANTS PER HOUSEHOLD. You can’t pretend you’re living up the holler down Copperhead Road and have the back 40 acres sprouting stalks like you’re Johnny Appleseed.
• Please be sure to know exactly where your property lines are if you decide to plant your very own Aunt Mary seeds. If you have to ask why this is essential..........please don’t grow your own.
• Also, and this is very important, be careful as to which product you consume, because not everyone has your best interest at heart. There are many different types of marijuana out there and it can be laced with everything from methamphetamine to angel dust, and these my friends, can and will kill you. Please know the signs of what an overdose looks like and call 911 immediately if someone needs help.

And before anyone gets all fired up thinking that PCSO is promoting the use of the righteous bush, we ain’t. We’re just trying our best to keep our community safe and informed. If a person decides to wake and bake legally while they are blasting Hitch a Ride by Boston without disturbing their neighbors, that’s like totally their choice dude. We just want everyone to be safe and go home to their families and dogs. And unicorns. And cats. And fish. And lizards. And stamp collections. And Dale Earnhardt memorabilia.
Call your mom.
 
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