Our neighbor's son and his arranged marriage

[keysersosay#1]

A family moved in across the street about 2 years ago. Nice people from India who had spent many years here in the US, having come from the Midwest.

They have several children, their eldest son is named Aziz and he is a year older than my daughter who is 18
.
Aziz is a soph at JMU , Nice kid, VERY smart, but how do I put this.... he is not exactly GQ material.

Kinda schlumpy and not the most handsome kid on the block... But a nice hardworking young man who no doubt will be running some software company in ten to fifteen years and making millions.

Anyway we saw his mom yesterday and asked how he is doing...her response??

Aziz is getting married...to a 16 year old Indian girl who has to wait in India for two years after they are "married".

Then she will be allowed to come to the US and join her husband, who she has never met, so that they can be man and wife


I have heard about arranged marriages before..but this is my first real experience with it up close and personal.


Hope they live happily ever after..................

 

[strummingram]

Different strokes.

 

[TarHeelMark]

Don't understand it myself but other cultures have their own customs.

 

[prlyles]

Several years ago I worked in the IT dept. of a textile mill and we contracted with a group of Indian programmers for a project. I got to know one of the guys well and he was going back home to get married. My wife and I started making plans to attend the wedding when the guy got word from his parents that the wedding was called off because the two families couldn't agree on the amount of money (in gold) that the girls family should put up. A few weeks later my friend received a loose leaf binder in the mail from his parents with page after page of girls he could pick for his wife. He picked one out and returned to India and married her and brought het back with him to the states. I haven't talked to him in several years but the last I heard from him they were happy.

 

[heelmanwilm]

I've become good friends with some indian hindus and their culture is fascinating bordering on bizarre. They have a daughter who will be married off in an areanged marriage at some point assuming they find the right mutually beneficial relationship with the grooms family. Whats really interesting and what alienates indians from americans imo is their take on doing business. To them everything is negotiable. And in their culture a mans worth is measures on getting the best deals. To the point where we would call it "screwing u over". He said he learned real fast that u cant take that approach with businesses here although he admits many of his countrymen never learn that lesson here and their reputation suffers for it.
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[prlyles]

Originally posted by heelmanwilm:
I've become good friends with some indian hindus and their culture is fascinating bordering on bizarre. They have a daughter who will be married off in an areanged marriage at some point assuming they find the right mutually beneficial relationship with the grooms family. Whats really interesting and what alienates indians from americans imo is their take on doing business. To them everything is negotiable. And in their culture a mans worth is measures on getting the best deals. To the point where we would call it "screwing u over". He said he learned real fast that u cant take that approach with businesses here although he admits many of his countrymen never learn that lesson here and their reputation suffers for it.
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My friend was a Sikh. They are the ones who wear turbans and never cut their hair. They all use Singh as their last name.

 

[heelmanwilm]

Another interesting thing, when indians move to the us they change their name (theirs are way too long and difficult to pronounce) what they change it to depends on what line of work they're in. Thats why most indian hotel owners are patels. Course their kids might choose different careers and u could have a dr patel.
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[mtpeke]

They have a very low divorce rate

 

[prlyles]

Originally posted by mtpeke:
They have a very low divorce rate

Yes they do, but they have a very high rate of wives burning to death while cooking over a fire....lol

 

[JuleZ '02 HEEL]

A family moved in across the street about 2 years ago. Nice people from India who had spent many years here in the US, having come from the Midwest.

They have several children, their eldest son is named Aziz and he is a year older than my daughter who is 18
.
Aziz is a soph at JMU , Nice kid, VERY smart, but how do I put this.... he is not exactly GQ material.

Kinda schlumpy and not the most handsome kid on the block... But a nice hardworking young man who no doubt will be running some software company in ten to fifteen years and making millions.

Anyway we saw his mom yesterday and asked how he is doing...her response??

Aziz is getting married...to a 16 year old Indian girl who has to wait in India for two years after they are "married".

Then she will be allowed to come to the US and join her husband, who she has never met, so that they can be man and wife


I have heard about arranged marriages before..but this is my first real experience with it up close and personal.


Hope they live happily ever after..................

So ... did Aziz's wife make it to the U.S.?

 

[tarheel0910]

So ... did Aziz's wife make it to the U.S.?

Was this a random bump or did you have it marked on your calendar?

 

[JuleZ '02 HEEL]

Was this a random bump or did you have it marked on your calendar?

I just figured 32 and a half months should be enough. Inquiring minds gotta know.

 

[TarHeelNation11]

So many (true) stereotypes on display in this thread.

From July 2016 to July of this year, I lived in an apartment complex just outside the Atlanta city limits that, for whatever reason, had a huge community of Indians. I don't mean like....it had 20 of them. I mean like, 90% of the people who lived in this complex (probably about 2,000 people) were Indian.

No offense intended but...........I'm good not living near any Indians ever again, at least not in an apartment setting. You wouldn't believe the smell. Everything in my apartment smelled like curry at. all. times. I constantly had candles and fans going and it helped some, but every day I would come home from work and the smell would blast forth once I opened the door.

The apartment was cheap and fairly nice though, so I tolerated it. Very unusual culture. I don't know what "sect" or whatever, but all the women wore the traditional garb -- long florally robes that go down to their feet. The men typically just dressed "normally." I'm assuming most of them worked in the booming IT sector over in Sandy Springs, which is just a few exits along the perimeter from where this apartment was.

 

[uncboy10]

Arranged marriage situations are very rarely consensual on the wife's part. And the wife is usually a child. Thumbs down for me.

 

[DeanFor President]

They do think everything is negotiable. My wife works as a mortgage loan processor, and they are very difficult to deal with. They negotiate a deal, then come back and try to renegotiate it. They withhold requested documents and use them to further bargain- cut my rate a half point and I'll send you my tax returns.

 

[keysersosay#1]

Well yes indeed she is here. I met her a few months back and she is quite a delightful young woman Very gracious and friendly

I hope they are both happy and remain so for the rest of their lives.....

it is my understanding that once married ALWAYS married and the man will remain so to that woman

 

[TarHeelMark]

They do think everything is negotiable. My wife works as a mortgage loan processor, and they are very difficult to deal with. They negotiate a deal, then come back and try to renegotiate it. They withhold requested documents and use them to further bargain- cut my rate a half point and I'll send you my tax returns.

My wife was in property management for years, and would agree. She said it was typically the men that would try to negotiate nearly everything in regards to their lease agreement, even though she would repeatedly remind them that equal housing laws prevented them from doing so.