Lie.
Haha sorry, life got in the way yesterday.
So my plan would have a few major phases:
Phase 1: Fix the basketball crowd
As Hark states....
I'd use the money to upgrade the Dean Dome, or just buy out the old donors, or whatever needs to be done to get the old fuddy duddys away from the court - and get a legit 3/4 court surrounding student zone similar to what they have at most places that actually have a home court advantage.
...we have zero home court advantage in basketball and it is beyond sad. Those of you who have been posting on Radar for several years will know that once every offseason I go over there to rant about how the Dean Dome atmosphere sucks out loud and is embarrassing as shit. We are a premier college basketball program, yet our arena is a silent library, while programs with a fraction of our success like Iowa State have crazy, raucous home courts every game.
My solution would be to buy out one side of the fat cats seating, the side that is shown on TV. Y'all know how at the Dean Dome, there's that first section that's shallowly slanted, and then like ~15 rows up, it changes pitch and slopes up at a more steep angle leading all the way up to the middle concourse? Well, I'd let students line the entirety of that shallow section up front, from endline to endline. The fat cats can still sit in that next section up (a la how the Iron Dukes do at Cameron) as well as the entire other side that's not facing the camera. I'm neutral on whether students would still be behind the baskets or not. To me, it's kinda lame. This would fix the atmosphere way more than some people realize. The change would be staggering and people would kick themselves for not making it happen before.
Phase 2: Fix Kenan
- Rip out all bleachers (except in the student section) and replace with the Carolina blue seats that can be found in Sections 117, 118, 119, etc. (See link here and spin to the left to see what the seats look like). It's the seats they have in the Blue Zone too, if that gives you Yes, this would decrease capacity from 63,000 to like 59,000 (?) or so, but who gives a shit? It pains me, but we never get 59,000 there for games, much less 63,000. Make the change and it will not only make the seating way, way more comfortable, it will also look more aesthetically pleasing on TV and will mask our attendance woes.
- Lower ticket prices. TV revenue is so vast now, and our stadium is small so we don't bring in that much money with gate sales, compared to schools like FSU, tOSU, et al. Lower the prices to $30 for all OOC games, and $40 for all ACC and "high profile" games. Get rid of 'dynamic pricing.' Time to swallow our pride and lower prices. Want to recoup some of that money? Well, then let's.....
- Sell beer at football games. I don't care what government officials or BoT / BoG members you need to convince/bribe, do it. Look at it this way. Say a ticket now for a typical home game is $60. If you lower tickets to $40, you're losing $20 (assuming all tickets sell, which is a wrong assumption BTW). How do you offset that $20? Hello, $8 beers! If someone buys two beers, you're almost back to your original profit. If someone buys three beers (not a stretch), you're not $4 ahead of where you were. Selling beer could easily generate ($6 profit per beer sold x 50,000 people x 0.5 beers purchased per person =) $150,000. And that is a very, very conservative estimate. There's ways to make it safe, for those who are concerned about safety and crowds getting too rowdy. If you wish, designate "drinking sections." Advertise certain sections as drinking sections and instruct vendors to only serve beer to those with a specific section number on their ticket. Or, like they do at concert venues, have someone handing out wristbands at the gate if you're drinking. The wristbands can have (4) or (5) tear-away slots on it that the beer vendor tears off when you buy a beer. Once you're out of tear-offs, you're done drinking.
- SINK. THE. EFFING. FIELD. I don't care how you do it, but find a way to fix the sight lines. I don't care if you have to hire a friggin Moo engineer, just figure it out. I'm guessing that changing the slope of the lower bowl isn't an option (it's sloped way too damn gradually and needs to be sloped at a constant 35 degree angle like the Blue Zone, not on a damn, shallow curve), so you've got to figure out a way to sink the field. The first 10 rows of the lower bowl are awful. The game is unwatchable from that low and it's embarrassing that the university even charges money for those tickets. Figure out a way to fix this. In addition to it sucking for the fans, it also looks awful on TV. People intentionally don't sit in the first few rows, and yet the first few rows is what shows on TV on kickoffs and punts and shit like that. It's embarrassing.
- Start marching band scholarship program. Recruit the hell out of male brass-playing musicians. Beer up the band 10 fold and make it not suck. Make it so I can hear it from anywhere in the stadium. Make it sound like an SEC band.
- Work with campus organizations and the administration to figure out tailgating on campus. My proposed plan is to remove all parking from Stadium Drive and make Stadium Drive (as well as the grassy, forested area between Kenan and Stadium Drive) one big tailgating spot. Use chalk or whatever you want to mark off spots and have people purchase the right to tailgate in those spots. Have an army of drivers on golf carts and Gators (could be student volunteers) that ferry people and their tailgating gear from their parking spot to Stadium Drive. Pay for UNC athletic department PTB to tour various campuses on game days (Bama, Clemson, Georgia, Ole Miss, etc) to observe and develop a tailgating plan that makes sense for UNC and its campus and fans. Like it or not, tailgating is a HUGE part of the appeal of college football and I have no doubt that better tailgating would mean better attendance. Imagine Stadium Drive slam packed from end to end with Carolina Blue pop-up canopies, tables, TVs, grills, food, fun, people. It would be a sight to behold. Then, you could have the team do their Old Well Walk right down Stadium Drive, right where all the people are.
Phase 3: Do what it takes to make football a perennial Top 10 program
Ramp up the recruiting budget and especially the coaches salary budget. Hire and retain the best assistants and throw money at Fedora to keep him, or at the next coach to keep him. Make it a desirable job by constantly improving the facilities, supplying endless money for recruitment budget, etc. Pull out all the stops and leave no gimmick untried.
Phase 4: Pump money into the other sports
Hire the coaches that need to be hired, improve the stadia and fields that need improvement, and do what it takes to keep the excellent sports excellent (field hockey, lax, soccer, baseball), and do what it takes to raise up the sports that need work. Hello, golf? How in the flying **** does UNC not have a perennial Top 10 golf team? Carolina is like the most country club school there is. It's screaming for an excellent golf team. Do what it takes to fix that.
Phase 5: Miscellaneous: Fund an engineering program and make it better than Moo's
Once the money starts pouring in from the football success, devote a portion to establishing an engineer school at Carolina. Call this operation "LOL@State." Do whatever it takes to establish a kickass engineer school. Hire away Moo professors if you have to. Not only will this broaden Carolina's already excellent academic standing and offerings, it will also supply a desperately-needed influx of male students (which will help the fanbase) and make the campus more diverse (i.e., not so yuppy and liberal). This will piss Moo off something fierce, and it will be glorious.
