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TarHeelNation11

TarHeelNation11

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Mar 9, 2007
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Lowell, NC
It was broached in the OOTB basketball thread and to appease @gunslingerdick by not (further) derailing that thread, I've made this thread.

All in good fun here as we need to learn to laugh at ourselves. Try your best to imitate a typical post of some poster, could be an OOTB regular or Blitz or Radar regular or anyone you think we'd know, and we'll try to guess who you're imitating. I'm looking more for stylistic parody here rather than honing in on the content of the poster's typical post, but whatever you need to do to convey your point is acceptable. Let's have some fun with his. Go!
 
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Hark_The_Sound_2010 said:
This is just a long drawn out post that no one on radar ever takes the time to read and should require a tl;dr summary. This is just a long drawn out post that no one on radar ever takes the time to read and should require a tl;dr summary. This is just a long drawn out post that no one on radar ever takes the time to read and should require a tl;dr summary. This is just a long drawn out post that no one on radar ever takes the time to read and should require a tl;dr summary. This is just a long drawn out post that no one on radar ever takes the time to read and should require a tl;dr summary. This is just a long drawn out post that no one on radar ever takes the time to read and should require a tl;dr summary. This is just a long drawn out post that no one on radar ever takes the time to read and should require a tl;dr summary. This is just a long drawn out post that no one on radar ever takes the time to read and should require a tl;dr summary. This is just a long drawn out post that no one on radar ever takes the time to read and should require a tl;dr summary.

This is just a long drawn out post that no one on radar ever takes the time to read and should require a tl;dr summary. This is just a long drawn out post that no one on radar ever takes the time to read and should require a tl;dr summary. This is just a long drawn out post that no one on radar ever takes the time to read and should require a tl;dr summary. This is just a long drawn out post that no one on radar ever takes the time to read and should require a tl;dr summary. This is just a long drawn out post that no one on radar ever takes the time to read and should require a tl;dr summary. This is just a long drawn out post that no one on radar ever takes the time to read and should require a tl;dr summary. This is just a long drawn out post that no one on radar ever takes the time to read and should require a tl;dr summary. This is just a long drawn out post that no one on radar ever takes the time to read and should require a tl;dr summary. This is just a long drawn out post that no one on radar ever takes the time to read and should require a tl;dr summary.

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Click to expand...
Could not agree more! Spot on! 100% accurate! Nice, as usual! And I'd add this NCAA investigation sure is being drawn out!
 
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This is a good idea for a thread, but I am not sure if I will keep up with reading it. I'm know it will be funny, but i also understand some people might get their feelings hurt, so it might not be nice to laugh. But good job anyways. I think.
 
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First, let me begin my post in italics as if it's the narrative intro to a fancy Saturday Evening Post article or some other work of fancy literature that 90% of you just can't fully comprehend like I can. I honestly don't really know why I'm in italics right now but it makes the beginning of my post look cool as a cucumber, so I'm just going to roll with it guys because I know you hang on my every word.

Pay attention to this first part and listen to my brilliance:
- the refs were awful and just believe me when I say awful because I know a thing or two about reffin' . . I said to my buddy the coach at the 7:32 mark in the first half, 'Watch Joel Berry's defense on the next five drives. If he gets too close to his man, I guaran-daggum-tee you he'll get a foul called on him.' And what do you know, JB<3 got a foul called on him one possession later. Fellas, I don't want to say the fix is in and the ABC referee union is under orders to stack the deck against us, but well the calls speak for themselves.
- Nate Britt continues to struggle with his passing angles and his shirt-tucking technique. Let's call a spade a spade, folks. I saw it. You saw it. Roy saw it. Britt's shirt was partially untucked in the back. The kid tries his hardest and good on him, but c'mon guys. I've run the deep analytics and everything points to one conclusion -- NB can't properly tuck in a shirt. He should've gotten JB<3's help...

Quibbles:
- Roy still hasn't personally reached out to me for my coaching advice. I'll have my coaching buddy drop him a line this week to make sure he has my correct number.
- This is an important one: Listen up gents and ladies, the commentators were totally and completely unprofessional last night. I mean, good golly willikers, how obvious could it be? They praised Nate Britt FOUR times guys (I kept track) and only praised JB<3 SEVEN times. That 4:7 ratio is completely unacceptable. I told my buddy as much when we were watchin' the game at Applebee's last night.

 
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TarHeelNation11 said:
First, let me begin my post in italics as if it's the narrative intro to a fancy Saturday Evening Post article or some other work of fancy literature that 90% of you just can't fully comprehend like I can. I honestly don't really know why I'm in italics right now but it makes the beginning of my post look cool as a cucumber, so I'm just going to roll with it guys because I know you hang on my every word.

Pay attention to this first part and listen to my brilliance:
- the refs were awful and just believe me when I say awful because I know a thing or two about reffin' . . I said to my buddy the coach at the 7:32 mark in the first half, 'Watch Joel Berry's defense on the next five drives. If he gets too close to his man, I guaran-daggum-tee you he'll get a foul called on him.' And what do you know, JB<3 got a foul called on him one possession later. Fellas, I don't want to say the fix is in and the ABC referee union is under orders to stack the deck against us, but well the calls speak for themselves.
- Nate Britt continues to struggle with his passing angles and his shirt-tucking technique. Let's call a spade a spade, folks. I saw it. You saw it. Roy saw it. Britt's shirt was partially untucked in the back. The kid tries his hardest and good on him, but c'mon guys. I've run the deep analytics and everything points to one conclusion -- NB can't properly tuck in a shirt. He should've gotten JB<3's help...

Quibbles:
- Roy still hasn't personally reached out to me for my coaching advice. I'll have my coaching buddy drop him a line this week to make sure he has my correct number.
- This is an important one: Listen up gents and ladies, the commentators were totally and completely unprofessional last night. I mean, good golly willikers, how obvious could it be? They praised Nate Britt FOUR times guys (I kept track) and only praised JB<3 SEVEN times. That 4:7 ratio is completely unacceptable. I told my buddy as much when we were watchin' the game at Applebee's last night.
Click to expand...

smilielol5.gif
 
TarHeelNation11 said:
First, let me begin my post in italics as if it's the narrative intro to a fancy Saturday Evening Post article or some other work of fancy literature that 90% of you just can't fully comprehend like I can. I honestly don't really know why I'm in italics right now but it makes the beginning of my post look cool as a cucumber, so I'm just going to roll with it guys because I know you hang on my every word.

Pay attention to this first part and listen to my brilliance:
- the refs were awful and just believe me when I say awful because I know a thing or two about reffin' . . I said to my buddy the coach at the 7:32 mark in the first half, 'Watch Joel Berry's defense on the next five drives. If he gets too close to his man, I guaran-daggum-tee you he'll get a foul called on him.' And what do you know, JB<3 got a foul called on him one possession later. Fellas, I don't want to say the fix is in and the ABC referee union is under orders to stack the deck against us, but well the calls speak for themselves.
- Nate Britt continues to struggle with his passing angles and his shirt-tucking technique. Let's call a spade a spade, folks. I saw it. You saw it. Roy saw it. Britt's shirt was partially untucked in the back. The kid tries his hardest and good on him, but c'mon guys. I've run the deep analytics and everything points to one conclusion -- NB can't properly tuck in a shirt. He should've gotten JB<3's help...

Quibbles:
- Roy still hasn't personally reached out to me for my coaching advice. I'll have my coaching buddy drop him a line this week to make sure he has my correct number.
- This is an important one: Listen up gents and ladies, the commentators were totally and completely unprofessional last night. I mean, good golly willikers, how obvious could it be? They praised Nate Britt FOUR times guys (I kept track) and only praised JB<3 SEVEN times. That 4:7 ratio is completely unacceptable. I told my buddy as much when we were watchin' the game at Applebee's last night.
Click to expand...
Please, more scuttlebutt from you and your coaching buddies!
 
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TarHeelNation11 said:
First, let me begin my post in italics as if it's the narrative intro to a fancy Saturday Evening Post article or some other work of fancy literature that 90% of you just can't fully comprehend like I can. I honestly don't really know why I'm in italics right now but it makes the beginning of my post look cool as a cucumber, so I'm just going to roll with it guys because I know you hang on my every word.

Pay attention to this first part and listen to my brilliance:
- the refs were awful and just believe me when I say awful because I know a thing or two about reffin' . . I said to my buddy the coach at the 7:32 mark in the first half, 'Watch Joel Berry's defense on the next five drives. If he gets too close to his man, I guaran-daggum-tee you he'll get a foul called on him.' And what do you know, JB<3 got a foul called on him one possession later. Fellas, I don't want to say the fix is in and the ABC referee union is under orders to stack the deck against us, but well the calls speak for themselves.
- Nate Britt continues to struggle with his passing angles and his shirt-tucking technique. Let's call a spade a spade, folks. I saw it. You saw it. Roy saw it. Britt's shirt was partially untucked in the back. The kid tries his hardest and good on him, but c'mon guys. I've run the deep analytics and everything points to one conclusion -- NB can't properly tuck in a shirt. He should've gotten JB<3's help...

Quibbles:
- Roy still hasn't personally reached out to me for my coaching advice. I'll have my coaching buddy drop him a line this week to make sure he has my correct number.
- This is an important one: Listen up gents and ladies, the commentators were totally and completely unprofessional last night. I mean, good golly willikers, how obvious could it be? They praised Nate Britt FOUR times guys (I kept track) and only praised JB<3 SEVEN times. That 4:7 ratio is completely unacceptable. I told my buddy as much when we were watchin' the game at Applebee's last night.
Click to expand...
Standing ovation. If nothing else, it must have taken 15 minutes just to do the formatting.
 
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Bonner is an ABSOLUTE moron, who isn't worthy of my respect, if he refuses to ACKNOWLEDGE how truly perfect of a coach our very own Roy Williams is (jmho). The fact that he would even think that he could complement NC State without FIRST mentioning how Roy has won 14 of the last 10 national championships is insane (jmho).

img24763719.jpg
 
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Love the condescending attitudes. U do know that taxing parody posts will ultimately bring about a decline in police brutality. Its time u rich middle aged white men subsidize my efforts to ridicule rich middle aged white men. Franklin roosevelt felt the same. Or was it teddy? Doesnt matter. U know i'm right.
 
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Probably not a good idea to do this line of Coke while watching Carolina play basketball.
MOTHERF***ER CAN ROY NOT SEE THAT A GD 1-4 SET DOESNT WORK AGAINST A F***ING ZONE? THAT DUMB SOB NEEDS TO QUIT BEFORE WE ARE THE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF THE ACC. F**K ME!!

Wth why am I sweating so profusely......
 
Guys I'm telling you I have a source (who just happens to be a poster from another site that says he heard from his moms friend at work that this high school basketball star might have us in his top 5) who says a certain high school star is ours to lose. I figure I'll throw this shit on the wall and see if it sticks--if so I'll have these internet turds thinking I'm some kind of basketball recruiting genius and they will worship at my feet.
 
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I'm a retire worker who sits around all day posting on rivals and corvette message boards. Been know to ruffle the feathers of neoconservative poasters in my time. I love chilli recipes and scantily clad pics of girls obviously to young for me. I have been banned for calling a mod out, only to be reinstated. Bty, did I tell you I love Obama and Hillary to the point I would die for them?
 
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This one should be easy........I have an Hilary and Obama problem. I spend most of my days searching the web looking for things to poast about them and how they are ruining this great country I served. I am currently fixated on Hillary and her email scandal. If she is elected, someone may have to talk me off the ledge. I plan to single handedly take her down with the topics I poast about her
 
Last edited:
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Ok - so Heelmanwilm has to be strum and then uncboy10, and Grayhead is Billy and then Nuke ?

By the way if any of you roast me, let me know, I don't want to be the guy that doesn't even realize when he's been parodied. Maybe its already happened and I missed it o_O
 
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