#10 - Put one of your children up for adoption
#9 - Solicit help from the top mathletes on campus and concoct an algorithm that can illogically invert the head-to-head wins-losses record with the Tar Heels to make all dookies feel a little bit better about themselves
[rn-1/rn] + qnrn-1 + m = 108 > 134 !!!
#8 - Recruit some better looking cheerleaders (like these from St. Bonaventure, for instance)
#7 - Distribute "cheer sheets for idiots" across campus in anticipation of next season
#6 - Reassure Brandon Ingram he made the right decision by choosing dook
#5 - Tune in to the Final Four and give the Crazies something they can reeeally cheer about
#4 - Take Grayson Allen out back and cure him once and for all of his persistent tripping habit
#3 - Write a letter to the NCAA on behalf of Coach K informing them of poor officiating during dook games
#2 - Do something about that hideous eyesore on the dook campus called Cameron Indoor Stadium
#1 - Write a thesis and use clear visual aids to compare a Carolina man to your average dookie
#9 - Solicit help from the top mathletes on campus and concoct an algorithm that can illogically invert the head-to-head wins-losses record with the Tar Heels to make all dookies feel a little bit better about themselves
[rn-1/rn] + qnrn-1 + m = 108 > 134 !!!
#8 - Recruit some better looking cheerleaders (like these from St. Bonaventure, for instance)
#7 - Distribute "cheer sheets for idiots" across campus in anticipation of next season
#6 - Reassure Brandon Ingram he made the right decision by choosing dook
#5 - Tune in to the Final Four and give the Crazies something they can reeeally cheer about
#4 - Take Grayson Allen out back and cure him once and for all of his persistent tripping habit
#3 - Write a letter to the NCAA on behalf of Coach K informing them of poor officiating during dook games
#2 - Do something about that hideous eyesore on the dook campus called Cameron Indoor Stadium
#1 - Write a thesis and use clear visual aids to compare a Carolina man to your average dookie
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