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What's the worst thing you've ever done that you got away with?

Raising Heel

Raising Heel

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Aug 31, 2008
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A van down by the river
When I was in high school, some buddies figured out that you could short-circuit a vending machine like the one below with just a screwdriver and a gallon of salt water.

1003253207_1_1000x700_coke-vending-machine-coin-operated-pretoria.jpg


All you had to do was pop out the plastic backing from "use exact change" light and pour the salt water into the opening. Then start pressing the buttons and the drinks would come tumbling out. You could empty an entire machine. Of course, because the machine was now shorted out and covered in salt water, you'd often electrocute yourself as you pressed the buttons, but it was a small price to pay.

We "knocked over" several Coke machines around town over the course of a couple summers. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't an incredible rush. There we were, getting repeatedly jolted and trying to load all the drinks into the back of the car before somebody noticed what we were doing. We got pretty good at it. One guy would push the buttons, another would get the drinks out and hand them off, and the last guy would load them into the back of the car, which was usually my Chevy S-10 Blazer.

After about a half dozen successful heists, we got cocky. One night we knocked over a drink machine at a golf course. Then, for good measure, we did some donuts on the putting green. We thought it was all fuggin hilarious until my Blazer stalled out and wouldn't start. We were sitting ducks with a carload of contraband. My car had done this before, so I knew we needed to wait about 60 seconds and try again, but my friends were freaking the hell out. Eventually we got the car started and high-tailed it out of there. We didn't learn our lesson, and hit a few more machines before we finally decided to end our crime spree.

Man, what an a**hole thing to do.
 
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I never did anything terribly bad...never stole or cheated or anything like that.

When I was a kid, I broke a plastic paint brush and a chip of it hit me in the eye...I had to wear a patch over my eye for 2 months, but I blamed it on my younger brother. He got the shit beat out of him for days. I felt bad about it...kinda.
 
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This isn't exactly "bad" but this thread did remind me of it:

As mentioned before I was in a frat at Carolina - during one of our parties some kid took a piss in our basement and when escorting him and his group of friends out there was an altercation as soon as we got outside between his crew and the few brothers I was with getting them out. Long story short I squared off with one of the guys and socked him in the face a few times - some pretty solid shots - before the group of them scurried away from the house.

Since they ran off, I wasn't sure how badly I had hit the guy, so I was shitting myself for the next week+ that the Chapel Hill PD would come and tell me I had completely F'd him up and charge me with something and I'd get kicked out of school. In hindsight, it was a completely consensual scuffle, so I probably had nothing to worry about - but I was petrified nonetheless.
 
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Hark_The_Sound_2010 said:
This isn't exactly "bad" but this thread did remind me of it:

As mentioned before I was in a frat at Carolina - during one of our parties some kid took a piss in our basement and when escorting him and his group of friends out there was an altercation as soon as we got outside between his crew and the few brothers I was with getting them out. Long story short I squared off with one of the guys and socked him in the face a few times - some pretty solid shots - before the group of them scurried away from the house.

Since they ran off, I wasn't sure how badly I had hit the guy, so I was shitting myself for the next week+ that the Chapel Hill PD would come and tell me I had completely F'd him up and charge me with something and I'd get kicked out of school. In hindsight, it was a completely consensual scuffle, so I probably had nothing to worry about - but I was petrified nonetheless.
Click to expand...

That kid might still be paying off medical bills. I would consider editing your post. ;)
 
I didn't personally do this, but I'll share the story anyway. My uncle, let's call him Ron Wofford, he used to be Athletic Director at this one college, right. It's a very prominent university both academically and athletically. He decided one day that said school just wasn't good enough at sports and needed more of an edge. He also decided that he just absolutely loathed one of the school's nearby rivals.

So he decided to create the most well-kept secret, perfectly executed scheme in the history of mankind and does the following:

1. Sets up sham majors so that said school can recruit athletes who are literal vegetables the second they step off a sports field. Like they can't read or write. They can't even write an X for their name. They can't even speak any intelligible language. They just grunt and mumble and walk into walls when trying to walk through doors. They're robots who kill babies in their spare time, jaywalk, get free water cups at fast food restaurants and fill them with Coke instead, club baby seals, and steal money from the blind. You get the point. Said school has won countless championships on the backs of said swashbuckling players.

2. Simultaneously, he used said school's "slush fund" of $275,230,765,126,199.69 to establish a multi-tiered, double-secret, razzle-dazzle, whippoorwill scheme to routinely, perennially, and systematically oppress said rival school at every turn in athletics. I'm talking, this thing goes all the way to the top -- POTUS, SCOTUS, UNC BOG, FBI, CIA, KGB, MI5, ACC, NCAA, EPA, NRA, FDA, ATF, U.S. Marshalls, the whole shabang. Get this, said school's rival school -- whose primary color is red, mind you -- should have won the national championship in EVERY sport EVERY year since my uncle Ron Wofford created this scheme. But they haven't won ONE since!!! That's how all powerful this bad boy is. All of the aforementioned agencies work together to systematically hold said rival school down and prevent them from achieving any success. It's really quite remarkable.

What's more is the SEC approached said rival school on bended knee, begging said rival school to join the ranks of the Southeastern Conference. But you know what happened? Ol' Uncle Ron and all his strategically placed government chronies and media members put the screws to the SEC and the SEC Commish, and you know what? That SEC offer was quickly and quietly retracted. So, said rival school will continue to languish in this purgatory that Uncle Ron has so perfectly and ruthlessly created for them. To top things off, a few years back, Ron became CONFERENCE COMMISSIONER of the conference both schools are in!! How do you like them apples?

You know what the best part is? Ol' RW hasn't gotten caught yet! Sure, fans of the rival school have dedicated their every living breath to "sleuthing" for the proverbial smoking gun. Sure, they've been left by their wife-sisters and no longer have their calls returned by their pig-mistresses, but you know what? That doesn't phase them. They've continued to fight the good fight, overturning every rock and pouring through every painstaking FOIA-requested document dump, looking for the "smoking gun" that will get ol' Uncle Ron nailed to the cross.

They even finally got the NCAA to investigate. But we all know nothing will come of it. Uncle Ron and his school has sleeper cell agents in every level of sports and government, be it AAU ball (so his school can get all the recruits), ESPN, USA Today, the NYSE, the Illuminati, Red Bull, Gatorade, Powerade, Lucozade, the White House, the U.S. Treasury, and even the gotdamn NCAA Tournament Selection Committee.

It's a wild tale I tell ya. A wild, wild tale. And he's gotten away with it all this time.
 
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TarHeelNation11 said:
I didn't personally do this, but I'll share the story anyway. My uncle, let's call him Ron Wofford, he used to be Athletic Director at this one college, right. It's a very prominent university both academically and athletically. He decided one day that said school just wasn't good enough at sports and needed more of an edge. He also decided that he just absolutely loathed one of the school's nearby rivals.

So he decided to create the most well-kept secret, perfectly executed scheme in the history of mankind and does the following:

1. Sets up sham majors so that said school can recruit athletes who are literal vegetables the second they step off a sports field. Like they can't read or write. They can't even write an X for their name. They can't even speak any intelligible language. They just grunt and mumble and walk into walls when trying to walk through doors. They're robots who kill babies in their spare time, jaywalk, get free water cups at fast food restaurants and fill them with Coke instead, club baby seals, and steal money from the blind. You get the point. Said school has won countless championships on the backs of said swashbuckling players.

2. Simultaneously, he used said school's "slush fund" of $275,230,765,126,199.69 to establish a multi-tiered, double-secret, razzle-dazzle, whippoorwill scheme to routinely, perennially, and systematically oppress said rival school at every turn in athletics. I'm talking, this thing goes all the way to the top -- POTUS, SCOTUS, UNC BOG, FBI, CIA, KGB, MI5, ACC, NCAA, EPA, NRA, FDA, ATF, U.S. Marshalls, the whole shabang. Get this, said school's rival school -- whose primary color is red, mind you -- should have won the national championship in EVERY sport EVERY year since my uncle Ron Wofford created this scheme. But they haven't won ONE since!!! That's how all powerful this bad boy is. All of the aforementioned agencies work together to systematically hold said rival school down and prevent them from achieving any success. It's really quite remarkable.

What's more is the SEC approached said rival school on bended knee, begging said rival school to join the ranks of the Southeastern Conference. But you know what happened? Ol' Uncle Ron and all his strategically placed government chronies and media members put the screws to the SEC and the SEC Commish, and you know what? That SEC offer was quickly and quietly retracted. So, said rival school will continue to languish in this purgatory that Uncle Ron has so perfectly and ruthlessly created for them. To top things off, a few years back, Ron became CONFERENCE COMMISSIONER of the conference both schools are in!! How do you like them apples?

You know what the best part is? Ol' RW hasn't gotten caught yet! Sure, fans of the rival school have dedicated their every living breath to "sleuthing" for the proverbial smoking gun. Sure, they've been left by their wife-sisters and no longer have their calls returned by their pig-mistresses, but you know what? That doesn't phase them. They've continued to fight the good fight, overturning every rock and pouring through every painstaking FOIA-requested document dump, looking for the "smoking gun" that will get ol' Uncle Ron nailed to the cross.

They even finally got the NCAA to investigate. But we all know nothing will come of it. Uncle Ron and his school has sleeper cell agents in every level of sports and government, be it AAU ball (so his school can get all the recruits), ESPN, USA Today, the NYSE, the Illuminati, Red Bull, Gatorade, Powerade, Lucozade, the White House, the U.S. Treasury, and even the gotdamn NCAA Tournament Selection Committee.

It's a wild tale I tell ya. A wild, wild tale. And he's gotten away with it all this time.
Click to expand...
495928.gif
 
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TarHeelNation11 said:
I didn't personally do this, but I'll share the story anyway. My uncle, let's call him Ron Wofford, he used to be Athletic Director at this one college, right. It's a very prominent university both academically and athletically. He decided one day that said school just wasn't good enough at sports and needed more of an edge. He also decided that he just absolutely loathed one of the school's nearby rivals.

So he decided to create the most well-kept secret, perfectly executed scheme in the history of mankind and does the following:

1. Sets up sham majors so that said school can recruit athletes who are literal vegetables the second they step off a sports field. Like they can't read or write. They can't even write an X for their name. They can't even speak any intelligible language. They just grunt and mumble and walk into walls when trying to walk through doors. They're robots who kill babies in their spare time, jaywalk, get free water cups at fast food restaurants and fill them with Coke instead, club baby seals, and steal money from the blind. You get the point. Said school has won countless championships on the backs of said swashbuckling players.

2. Simultaneously, he used said school's "slush fund" of $275,230,765,126,199.69 to establish a multi-tiered, double-secret, razzle-dazzle, whippoorwill scheme to routinely, perennially, and systematically oppress said rival school at every turn in athletics. I'm talking, this thing goes all the way to the top -- POTUS, SCOTUS, UNC BOG, FBI, CIA, KGB, MI5, ACC, NCAA, EPA, NRA, FDA, ATF, U.S. Marshalls, the whole shabang. Get this, said school's rival school -- whose primary color is red, mind you -- should have won the national championship in EVERY sport EVERY year since my uncle Ron Wofford created this scheme. But they haven't won ONE since!!! That's how all powerful this bad boy is. All of the aforementioned agencies work together to systematically hold said rival school down and prevent them from achieving any success. It's really quite remarkable.

What's more is the SEC approached said rival school on bended knee, begging said rival school to join the ranks of the Southeastern Conference. But you know what happened? Ol' Uncle Ron and all his strategically placed government chronies and media members put the screws to the SEC and the SEC Commish, and you know what? That SEC offer was quickly and quietly retracted. So, said rival school will continue to languish in this purgatory that Uncle Ron has so perfectly and ruthlessly created for them. To top things off, a few years back, Ron became CONFERENCE COMMISSIONER of the conference both schools are in!! How do you like them apples?

You know what the best part is? Ol' RW hasn't gotten caught yet! Sure, fans of the rival school have dedicated their every living breath to "sleuthing" for the proverbial smoking gun. Sure, they've been left by their wife-sisters and no longer have their calls returned by their pig-mistresses, but you know what? That doesn't phase them. They've continued to fight the good fight, overturning every rock and pouring through every painstaking FOIA-requested document dump, looking for the "smoking gun" that will get ol' Uncle Ron nailed to the cross.

They even finally got the NCAA to investigate. But we all know nothing will come of it. Uncle Ron and his school has sleeper cell agents in every level of sports and government, be it AAU ball (so his school can get all the recruits), ESPN, USA Today, the NYSE, the Illuminati, Red Bull, Gatorade, Powerade, Lucozade, the White House, the U.S. Treasury, and even the gotdamn NCAA Tournament Selection Committee.

It's a wild tale I tell ya. A wild, wild tale. And he's gotten away with it all this time.
Click to expand...
Well, see... now, we can't go any further.

Anyone wanna follow Led Zeppelin on stage, here?
 
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Raising Heel said:
Buncha pussies in this thread.
Click to expand...


For starters:

- stole a van and wrecked it at age 14
- stole a flashing construction sign and put it in stolen van before wrecking van
- derailed a train car
- stole a plethora of street signs
- broke into what was thought to be a vacant old farm house - wasn't vacant
- shredded my 7th grade social studies teacher's grade book
- frequently pulled hood ornaments off cars
- stole dozens of bottles of Thunderbird when it was sold at Kroger by using the front pouch of a Starter jacket (I had a Texas A&M one)
- stole tobacco (in many forms) from age 13 to age 16
- used fake ID from age 16 until age 21
- When on the stand in court at age 17 and asked "where did you get the beer?", I lied. Fake answer: "I found it in the woods." Real answer: "I bought it with my fake ID."
- used stolen bag phone (was given to me) for 2 days until I felt the heat on me and then discarded bag phone in dumpster behind Kroger - lied to police
- started a fire in a field (next to the same old not-vacant farm house we broke into) by playing with fireworks
- picked flowers from city property on multiple occasions
- Often chewed tobacco in class and spit in the top of the radiator next to my seat
- routinely changed grades on report card throughout high school
- drove underage
- didn't pull out
 
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I've stolen several street signs over the years. Also in my younger days I ****ed up some golf carts when I got mad at my golf game. Pretty lame I know. Also, my senior year, a few of the football guys went to a cheerleaders house on Halloween and papered the **** out of it. Also eggs and dog shit smeared on her trailer. She was hot but a total bitch and had to be taught a lesson.
 
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coolwaterunc said:
I once saw someone's answer on a test at school. I then proceeded to write down that same answer on my test. Yeah, I was a bit of a troubled kid.
Click to expand...
Marvin Austin once sat next to me in a psych class during a test. I could tell he was doing the "roll your neck to look at your neighbor's paper" move, and I was like "You poor sucker, if you were gonna do that you should have picked someone else to sit next to because this ain't my subject."
 
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heelz2345 said:
Marvin Austin once sat next to me in a psych class during a test. I could tell he was doing the "roll your neck to look at your neighbor's paper" move, and I was like "You poor sucker, if you were gonna do that you should have picked someone else to sit next to because this ain't my subject."
Click to expand...
You better hope the NCAA doesn't read this board.
 
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