Joke for Friday

[RHFD]

A drunken man, who smelled like beer, sat down on a subway seat next to a priest.

The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest, and asked, "Tell me father, what causes arthritis?"

"My son, it is caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes, and lack of bath"

"Well, I'll be darn" the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he sad, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have it, father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

 

[BillyL]

Good one . .

 

[BillyL]

People often complain about the police, but you rarely hear about the positive things they do, such as this incident involving a biker and a frozen carburetor.

Last January on a bitterly cold winter's day, a North Dakota State Trooper on patrol came upon a motorcyclist who was stalled by the roadside.

The biker was swathed in heavy protective clothing and wearing a full-face helmet to protect the face from the cold weather. "What's the matter?" asked the trooper.

"Carburetor's frozen," was the terse reply.

"Pee on it. That'll thaw it out.

"I can't," said the biker.

"OK, watch me closely and I'll show you." The trooper unzipped and promptly warmed the carburetor as promised.

Moments later the bike started and the rider drove off, waving.

A few days later, the local state trooper's office received a note of thanks from the father of the motorcyclist.

It began: "On behalf of my daughter Jill..."