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Starting a new job and I feel like crap leaving the old one

UNC71-00

UNC71-00

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Earlier this week I was offered and accepted a position working for one of my current clients. It's a big bump in responsibility and compensation and I am sure I will find the job to be more rewarding in just about every way. The problem is I feel guilty about leaving my current company.

It's a small business and we are all pretty tight. I am particularly close with the guy who owns it and I am the only person besides the general manager who reports directly to the owner. Making matters worse is that at the beginning of the week, he decided to take us all on a golf trip next weekend and I am going to now have to tell him on Monday that I am resigning at the end of the month.

I know it's just business and all but the guy is a good friend and he has always treated me well. And the whole golf trip thing couldn't have come at a worse time.
 
Tough call for sure, but in the end you gotta do what's best for you and the 71 family. Sounds like you'll be leaving on good terms, so that door will always be open if you need it down the road.
 
coolwaterunc said:
If they don't want you to leave, then pay up. Easy as that.
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It would be almost impossible for my current company to match. And even if they did, the other gig is better. There's more to it than money here- it's a completely different career in a different industry.
 
TarHeelMark said:
Tough call for sure, but in the end you gotta do what's best for you and the 71 family. Sounds like you'll be leaving on good terms, so that door will always be open if you need it down the road.
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I know and it is on good terms. Its just going to come as a big blow to him for a few reasons.
 
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Most employers understand that their employees' professional development means they're not going to stay in one place, with one employer, indefinitely. Fedora actually talks about this with regards to his own staff. Hopefully he understands that the move means a career advancement and wishes you the best. The fact that he's a personal friend should actually make it a little easier in some ways. That conversation always sucks, though.
 
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UNC71-00 said:
Earlier this week I was offered and accepted a position working for one of my current clients. It's a big bump in responsibility and compensation and I am sure I will find the job to be more rewarding in just about every way. The problem is I feel guilty about leaving my current company.

It's a small business and we are all pretty tight. I am particularly close with the guy who owns it and I am the only person besides the general manager who reports directly to the owner. Making matters worse is that at the beginning of the week, he decided to take us all on a golf trip next weekend and I am going to now have to tell him on Monday that I am resigning at the end of the month.

I know it's just business and all but the guy is a good friend and he has always treated me well. And the whole golf trip thing couldn't have come at a worse time.
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You have to look out for yourself and your family first. I've had to make this decision and it's gut-wrenching having to break the news, and like you said, it's tough when everyone is tightly-knit and the owner treats you like family, but you have to have the peace of mind knowing you're making the right choice and that they will do the same on their end. They'll find someone...companies always do.
 
Hark_The_Sound_2010 said:
Are you feeling guilty about going on the golf trip? Can you have something come up that would prevent you from going?
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That just adds to it. I am not sure how that will all shake out but if I don't go, they will be left with 5.

I have already decided that I am going to tell him I will still go if he wants me to, even though I really would prefer not to
 
Will you finally max out your social security tax? o_O
 
71, I've had this happen several times in the past with my employees. From an owner's perspective, it sucks. But it is part of professional life. Your friend should understand. Is your position one that can be easily duplicated and replaced? It's also possible, he can fill the position with less payroll. That usually eases the sting for me.
I've always told my guys to never refuse a better opportunity. I'll usually help prepare them for that as well. Being in construction, I've had the privilege of teaching several that has become my competition.
But what you are going thru has always been tough for me. When I left to work for myself, I left family, and his company suffered due to my leaving. But he still supported me. If you friend boss doesn't, then it's a sign of being selfish on his part. Just tell him sooner rather than later.
 
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Raising Heel said:
Most employers understand that their employees' professional development means they're not going to stay in one place, with one employer, indefinitely.
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Yes, they do understand, but it's really, really hard to overcome when it's a small business. I'm talking small small, like the one 71 is leaving or my family's company.

In a small, privately-owned company, because of the size, everyone wears multiple hats. Everyone generally does all the responsibilities their job entails, but also does a lot more to help pull weight. Lots of cross-training and reliance on one another.

It basically turns into a situation where the owner views the skills and accomplishments of certain workers and in his head is like "if Mike left, I have no idea what the hell we'd do..." Of course, there's always other potential employees out there, but it's hard to describe the professional and personal bond you build with folks when the company is that small.

So I totally get where 71 is coming from with the guilt. All that being said, you still gotta do what's best for you @UNC71-00. I know that letting him know will be tough. Hang in there!
 
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TarHeelNation11 said:
Yes, they do understand, but it's really, really hard to overcome when it's a small business. I'm talking small small, like the one 71 is leaving or my family's company.

In a small, privately-owned company, because of the size, everyone wears multiple hats. Everyone generally does all the responsibilities their job entails, but also does a lot more to help pull weight. Lots of cross-training and reliance on one another.

It basically turns into a situation where the owner views the skills and accomplishments of certain workers and in his head is like "if Mike left, I have no idea what the hell we'd do..." Of course, there's always other potential employees out there, but it's hard to describe the professional and personal bond you build with folks when the company is that small.

So I totally get where 71 is coming from with the guilt. All that being said, you still gotta do what's best for you @UNC71-00. I know that letting him know will be tough. Hang in there!
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Well put.

I currently handle specialized markets (about 35% of revenue) and am the de facto IT manager and marketing manager.

I'm going to tell him on Monday. I have to drive to see him- his office is about 2 hours from mine.
 
UNC71-00 said:
Well put.

I currently handle specialized markets (about 35% of revenue) and am the de facto IT manager and marketing manager.

I'm going to tell him on Monday. I have to drive to see him- his office is about 2 hours from mine.
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Make sure to get reimbursed for the mileage... LOL.

Either that, or get him on OOTB and he can figure it out for himself.
 
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TarHeelNation11 said:
It basically turns into a situation where the owner views the skills and accomplishments of certain workers and in his head is like "if Mike left, I have no idea what the hell we'd do..." Of course, there's always other potential employees out there, but it's hard to describe the professional and personal bond you build with folks when the company is that small.
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I work for a fairly small company, although maybe not as small as yours and 71s. But if I ever found out my boss had the thought "if Hark left, I have no idea what the hell we'd do" I'd be in his office the next day demanding a monster raise. I wouldn't care if my boss was my own father. Gotta get what's yours.
 
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Hark_The_Sound_2010 said:
I work for a fairly small company, although maybe not as small as yours and 71s. But if I ever found out my boss had the thought "if Hark left, I have no idea what the hell we'd do" I'd be in his office the next day demanding a monster raise. I wouldn't care if my boss was my own father. Gotta get what's yours.
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Lol- I hear you. Though (hypothetically)- what if at that point they told you that they couldn't afford the raise and that you need to move on since you are obviously unhappy?
 
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Hark_The_Sound_2010 said:
I work for a fairly small company, although maybe not as small as yours and 71s. But if I ever found out my boss had the thought "if Hark left, I have no idea what the hell we'd do" I'd be in his office the next day demanding a monster raise. I wouldn't care if my boss was my own father. Gotta get what's yours.
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I think this poast perfectly encapsulates the difference between yankees and Southerners :p

In all seriousness, your company isn't as small as ours if you feel that way. The smaller it is, the more ownership and responsibility you feel. It truly becomes a team. You live and die together.

ETA: But yeah it does become extremely tough to straddle that line between being a good company soldier and looking out for you and yours by asking for a raise. Your boss isn't just some shmuck in the corner office who smokes a cigar; he's a guy you work shoulder to shoulder with every day and probably see outside of work for dinner with each of your wives and such.
 
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TarHeelNation11 said:
Yes, they do understand, but it's really, really hard to overcome when it's a small business. I'm talking small small, like the one 71 is leaving or my family's company.
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Thank you, padawan. I've been in the workforce as long as you've been alive, you know. :eek: I worked for a literal mom and pop -- I was their only other employee -- but when a better job came available my boss told me he'd fire me if I didn't take it. LOL.
 
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Raising Heel said:
Thank you, padawan. I've been in the workforce as long as you've been alive, you know. :eek: I worked for a literal mom and pop -- I was their only other employee -- but when a better job came available my boss told me he'd fire me if I didn't take it. LOL.
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l9hqN3N.gif
 
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UNC71-00 said:
Lol- I hear you. Though (hypothetically)- what if at that point they told you that they couldn't afford the raise and that you need to move on since you are obviously unhappy?
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Good point. At that point, I guess I'd take the information that I'm much more valuable than I'm being compensated for, and try to find a place that could pay me that much. Which looks like exactly what you've done, without the "yankee strongarm" tactic I previously mentioned - well done.
 
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Hark_The_Sound_2010 said:
Good point. At that point, I guess I'd take the information that I'm much more valuable than I'm being compensated for, and try to find a place that could pay me that much. Which looks like exactly what you've done, without the "yankee strongarm" tactic I previously mentioned - well done.
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Now you're getting it, padawan. You can absolutely screw people 6 ways from Sunday down here too, you just gotta do it with the right tact.
 
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Hark_The_Sound_2010 said:
Good point. At that point, I guess I'd take the information that I'm much more valuable than I'm being compensated for, and try to find a place that could pay me that much. Which looks like exactly what you've done, without the "yankee strongarm" tactic I previously mentioned - well done.
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Right- you have to have something in place before playing the card with current employer though.

And if the new offer weren't significantly better in just about every way, I would probably go back to my current guy and give him a chance to match. However there's really nothing to think about here.
 
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