First is an obscure sort of pick actually; it was Brendan Fraser’s character from Bedazzled. I’ll quote the write-up the book had
“No. 1 Pick: Elliot Richards, Bedazzled. Height: 7’6” Weight: Approximately 290 pounds. Position: Center. Most Memorable On-Court Moment: Dunking it from well beyond the three-point line.
The undeniable, impossible-to-pass-up, absolutely-has-to-get-chosen, guaranteed-Hall-of-Famer-and-potentially-greatest-of-all-time first pick. His stat line from the game they show him playing in Bedazzled is so absurd that it feels like too much even for a fake player: 104 points, 45 rebounds, 32 assists, 37 steals, and 28 blocks. He dunked it from the three-point line. He shot 40-footers like they were 5-footers and he shot 30-footers without even looking at the rim. He sweat a lot, and he was exceptionally dumb, and he had a teeny tiny penis, but no matter. Championships abound.”
There was a footnote relating to a part toward the end that I felt obliged to share.
“The plot of Bedazzled is a guy makes a deal with the devil (played by Elizabeth Hurley) where he trades his soul for seven wishes, one of which he uses to become an NBA megastar version of himself. Every wish she grants him ends up having some terrible thing attached to it, though, and so when she turned him into an NBA All-Star, she also gave him a super small penis. He immediately traded away his stardom and fortune to get back into his normal body and his normal penis. Men are dumb.”