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Looking for a Pun

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Did you hear about the guy who had his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.
 
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, it's impossible to put down.
 
So I didn't scroll down. I'm embarrassed. Not giving up my man card though :(
 
Not really a pun but in some cases gender does matter ...

Sometimes it is very important whether a sentence was said by a man or a woman.

A good example: “I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!”
 
Again not a pun -

But punctuation is the difference between "helping your Uncle Jack, off his horse" and "helping your uncle jack off his horse".
 
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