Finally, a thread America can believe in.
I consider myself a lover of breakfasts (maybe we should stage a breakfast food tournament?) and eat breakfast food any time of day. Since I've eaten in every one of the joints listed, let me tell you how it is:
1) Bob Evans - Sleeper pick. Excellent biscuits and gravy as noted by
@gunslingerdick, plus their
breakfast skillets are the bomb, perfect for people who want their food served in a single, heaping mess.
2) IHOP - Screw the pancakes. I'm here for the stuffed French Toast.
3) Original Pancake House - There's an OPH about 5 blocks from where I work, so I eat there often. The service sucks but the pancakes are amazing...and I don't even like pancakes. They also serve corned beef hash and grits, which is a big part of the reason they rank so highly here.
4) Perkins - Pioneers of tater tots for breakfast, aka
Smashers. "Oh, that's just basically, like, hash browns," you say. Well you are wrong. Now shut up and eat your tots.
5) Cracker Barrel - Thumbs up for the variety of dishes that contribute to cardiovascular disease. Thumbs down for the gift shop. Thumbs up for country fried steak. Thumbs down for the dry, chewy sausage patties.
6) Waffle House - The only reason I ever eat there is because of their hash browns. Well, that and I don't think I've ever been to WH sober. Considerable point deduction for all the health code violations. The WH on South Blvd. in Charlotte has been shut down repeatedly by state health inspectors.
7) Denny's - Huge selection of breakfast foods and it's always hilarious to say Moon Over My Hammy. Would've ranked higher but I have some black friends.
8) Huddle House - For people who are so drunk/high they think they're going to a Waffle House.
Honorary Mention:
Shuffletown Grill - The greasy spoon up the street from where I live. Food named after Ford pickups and waitresses who came with the building. Just ask
@UNC71-00.