What will they say about you when you’re gone?

[gunslingerdick]

I went to a memorial service this morning for a guy that was instrumental to my success early in my professional career. Died at the age of 62 from leukemia. He was a brilliant and principled man but he was also outspoken, curt and rough around the edges. “Prickly” is the best way to describe him.

So I was curious as to what they’d say about him at the service. Would they say, “despite his hard shell, John was a lovable guy”? Or would they be real. Turns out, it was somewhere in between.

But it got me thinking about myself and what people might say if my day came tomorrow? And then I started thinking “what do I want people to say about me when I’m gone?” First and foremost, I want people to say, he was best damn father any kid could ever ask for. He loved his children more than life itself and he taught them how to be productive members of society.” And if that’s all anyone could say, I could live with that (err, die with that). But I came to the realization that I do care what people say about me when I’m gone. Obviously not for me but for my loved ones that I leave behind. I want them to enjoy hearing good things about me. They loved me. They should get the reward of hearing why others did too.

What do you want people to say about you when you’re gone?

 

[jcolucci]

Hopefully it's "Damn, that fu_ker was old! and in pretty good shape considering he smoked, drank and chased women all those years!"

 

[ticket2ride04]

I went to a memorial service this morning for a guy that was instrumental to my success early in my professional career. Died at the age of 62 from leukemia. He was a brilliant and principled man but he was also outspoken, curt and rough around the edges. “Prickly” is the best way to describe him.

So I was curious as to what they’d say about him at the service. Would they say, “despite his hard shell, John was a lovable guy”? Or would they be real. Turns out, it was somewhere in between.

But it got me thinking about myself and what people might say if my day came tomorrow? And then I started thinking “what do I want people to say about me when I’m gone?” First and foremost, I want people to say, he was best damn father any kid could ever ask for. He loved his children more than life itself and he taught them how to be productive members of society.” And if that’s all anyone could say, I could live with that (err, die with that). But I came to the realization that I do care what people say about me when I’m gone. Obviously not for me but for my loved ones that I leave behind. I want them to enjoy hearing good things about me. They loved me. They should get the reward of hearing why others did too.

What do you want people to say about you when you’re gone?

That I was better at GSD in rearing kids


And a passionate lover.

 

[TarHeelNation11]

What will they say about me when I'm gone?

"Finally! Damn, that fukker was annoying."

 

[prlyles]

He never gave Walmart a damn dime........

 

[heelbent]

I don't have a clue. But I promise I won't give one little bit of a damn either.

 

[JuleZ '02 HEEL]

What will they say about me when I'm gone?

"Finally! Damn, that fukker was annoying."

I'm honored to have been chosen to speak at your memorial.

 

[nctransplant]

"Folks, can you believe this lucky Bastard? He played golf all day, had a hole in one, and got laid twice that night and died in his sleep"

 

[tarheel0910]

That I died peacefully in bed after watching UNC win their first national championship in football. Guess that means I'll never die.

 

[WhatTheHeel?]

I went to a memorial service this morning for a guy that was instrumental to my success early in my professional career. Died at the age of 62 from leukemia. He was a brilliant and principled man but he was also outspoken, curt and rough around the edges. “Prickly” is the best way to describe him.

So I was curious as to what they’d say about him at the service. Would they say, “despite his hard shell, John was a lovable guy”? Or would they be real. Turns out, it was somewhere in between.

But it got me thinking about myself and what people might say if my day came tomorrow? And then I started thinking “what do I want people to say about me when I’m gone?” First and foremost, I want people to say, he was best damn father any kid could ever ask for. He loved his children more than life itself and he taught them how to be productive members of society.” And if that’s all anyone could say, I could live with that (err, die with that). But I came to the realization that I do care what people say about me when I’m gone. Obviously not for me but for my loved ones that I leave behind. I want them to enjoy hearing good things about me. They loved me. They should get the reward of hearing why others did too.

What do you want people to say about you when you’re gone?

They will likely say, "Who?"

I really don't care as long as whatever they say is accurate and they don't refer to me as "they."

 

[gunslingerdick]

I really don't care as long as ... they don't refer to me as "they."

 

[Raising Heel]

What do you want people to say about you when you’re gone?

Great question. This is already going to be a tl;dr poast, so here are some of the ways I'd like to be remembered in the form of adjectives: adventurous, compassionate, curious, dependable, devoted, funny, honest, kind, principled.

There's also a flip side to this question that I read about while working in hospice and palliative care. Nurses asked patients on their deathbed what their greatest regrets were and reduced the responses to five things -- the five regrets of the dying. You can read more about them at the link, but they are:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

So the other question is this: What will I say about my own life when it's at its end? I think about when I'm old and infirm, looking back on my life, and wonder what my regrets will be. I know for sure that one of them will be that I ran out of time. There is an endless list of things I want to see and do in this world.

Anyway, that's the kind of perspective I've tried to bring to my own life. I'm getting better at each one, although #3 and #4 are really hard for me as a mostly private, introverted person.

 

[TarHeelNation11]

Great question. This is already going to be a tl;dr poast, so here are some of the ways I'd like to be remembered in the form of adjectives: adventurous, compassionate, curious, dependable, devoted, funny, honest, kind, principled.

There's also a flip side to this question that I read about while working in hospice and palliative care. Nurses asked patients on their deathbed what their greatest regrets were and reduced the responses to five things -- the five regrets of the dying. You can read more about them at the link, but they are:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

So the other question is this: What will I say about my own life when it's at its end? I think about when I'm old and infirm, looking back on my life, and wonder what my regrets will be. I know for sure that one of them will be that I ran out of time. There is an endless list of things I want to see and do in this world.

Anyway, that's the kind of perspective I've tried to bring to my own life. I'm getting better at each one, although #3 and #4 are really hard for me as a mostly private, introverted person.

Damn, this thread has now turned into a sadz parade.

 

[Raising Heel]

Damn, this thread has now turned into a sadz parade.

got all up in my existential feelz

 

[TarHeelNation11]

got all up in my existential feelz

Understanding the painz of mortality.

 

[RHFD]

He lived hard & spent a lot of money on wine beer & wild women rest of his money he just threw away.

 

[Raising Heel]

He lived hard & spent a lot of money on wine beer & wild women rest of his money he just threw away.

Chuck Grassley hates you.

 

[coolwaterunc]

What do you want people to say about you when you’re gone?

 

[Heels Noir]

Mods, please move this thread to the Hallmark Channel.

 

[strummingram]

Mods, please move this thread to the Hallmark Channel.

Who do you think will say that when you're gone?

 

[notashelbyfan]

"He redeemed himself from the movie tournament snafu!"

 

[JuleZ '02 HEEL]

"He redeemed himself from the movie tournament snafu!"

That's a tall mountain to climb.

 

[heelmanwilm]

“In a world of faucets and drains he was a faucet”

 

[tarheel0910]

Be sure and say that about me when I'm gone would you?

I always enjoy it when @strummingram and @gunslingerdick get into an argument. It always provides me with a few laughs.

 

[BillyL]

I doubt that anyone would miss me, as my absence would likely not be noticed.

 

[JuleZ '02 HEEL]

I doubt that anyone would miss me, as my absence would likely not be noticed.

We'd notice when football season started and there was no prediction contest.

 

[nctransplant]

We'd notice when football season started and there was no prediction contest.

Or on Friday's when no one was tending bar.

 

[WhatTheHeel?]

Even when I knew the deceased fairly well, more often than not, I learn something pretty remarkable about them at their funeral that I wish I had known while they were alive so I could have asked them about it.

 

[strummingram]

Once he learned how to talk, he hardly ever shut up!

 

[grillheel]

He allowed his children to watch way too many movies!

 

[JuleZ '02 HEEL]

Simbelmÿne. Ever has it grown on the tombs of my forebears. Now it shall cover the grave of my son. Alas, that these evil days should be mine. The young perish and the old linger. That I should live to see the last days of my house.

JuleZ' death was not of your making.

No parent should have to bury their child.

He was strong in life. His spirit will find the way to the halls of your fathers.

 

[DeanFor President]

Where the heck did he go??