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You suddenly find yourself on-stage for your own TED Talk

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This question has me shook. I could bullshit about almost anything for 18 mins, but I don’t know if I am expert enough in anything to be allowed to talk for 18 mins.

I guess this means I should look into being a motivational speaker.
 
I am a treasure trove of info i could ramble on about. Very little would be entertaining.

Keto
Tourists
Home skooling
Native trout fishing
Breast feeding
Packer history
How to manufacture capacitors from tantalum
Irrigation
Retaining walls
Kids sleep habits and how to affect them
Jeeps
Bible
 
With no prior planning, what's a topic you can discuss for 18 minutes? (h/t @thatericalper).

I'd stride confidently to center stage, make sweeping eye contact with the audience, pause for the applause to die down, and then say: "Plastics."

Then I'd wait for a beat or two, say "I have to return some videotapes," and exit stage left.
 
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