Somebody had to make the sammicheswhy couldn't it be a black woman on the moon, you sexist pig.
And now, terrible jokes
- Thread starter Raising Heel
- Start date
I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines. He’s a singer/songwriter. Or sew it seams.
then he turns his head and says 'how about you, Mr. Heels Noir?'. Har har har.
No, no, no, that's not how the joke goes.
Bluetoe walks into a bar and sees a monkey in the corner. He asks the bartender, "What's the deal with the monkey?"
The bartender says, "I'll show you." He walks over and knocks the shit out of the monkey and the monkey starts giving the bartender a blowjob.
He asks bluetoe, "Do you want to try?"
Bluetoe says, "Sure, but just don't hit me that hard."
no, that isn't how it goes.
Biden and and Harris are driving through the country to a conference on ways to improve agricultural output. Biden is behind the wheel. Suddenly he hits the brakes and says 'Kamala, look at that billy-goat with its head stuck in the fence. We can't just leave it like that'.
So Joe goes running over to the goat and drops his pants and starts having anal sex with the goat. When he's through, he hollers out to Harris, 'Hey Kamala, come on over here and get you some of this'.
'I can't, you dumb motherfvcker, I don't have a dick.' says Harris. 'But when you get back to the car I'll blow you.'
It seems like forever before Joe gets back to the car, and Harris says 'What took you so long?'. 'Well' says Joe, 'Heels Noir wasn't here so I had to give that goat a reacharound myself'.
Or something like that. Maybe it was a cow.
So @tarheel0910 , @strummingram , and @gunslingerdick were sitting around drinking bud light and contemplating the nuances of dating cross dressers and tarheel says “you know I’ve got a pretty big head, I’m gonna send in the measurements to Guinness book and see where it is versus others”. Strumram then says “you know I’ve got pretty big ears, I’m gonna send in those measurements to Guinness too”. Then slinger chimes in….”well I’ve got a very tiny penis, im gonna send some pics and see what Guinness says”. Couple weeks go by and they all have their letters from Guinness. Tarheel opens his and says “yay my head is the biggest in the world!” Then strumming ram opens his and says “yay I have the biggest ears of them all!” Then slinger opens his letter, and says “who the fuk is @bluetoe ?”
cute. Did you know there are three types of female orgasm?
There's the religious type.."oh yes God...oh yes Jesus...OH MY GOD!!!.."
Then there is the obscene type..."ohshitfvckme...yeah fvck me...FVCK ME!!!.."
And of course there is the fake orgasm.."oh God...oh Jesus...oh....oh...oh... HEELMAN!!!
Not a joke but funny nonetheless, don Fagen of steely Dan reneged on his promise and actually did go back to his old school to get an honorary doctorate.
Doctor calls the home and speaks to the husband
“So listen we got your wife’s test results mixed up with another woman’s, she either has Alzheimer’s or sypphilis!”
“Oh my god is there a way I can tell?” Asks the husband
“Yes you can take her about 30 mi away and leave her on the road, if she comes back….don’t fuk her”
“So listen we got your wife’s test results mixed up with another woman’s, she either has Alzheimer’s or sypphilis!”
“Oh my god is there a way I can tell?” Asks the husband
“Yes you can take her about 30 mi away and leave her on the road, if she comes back….don’t fuk her”
I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
Have you heard of quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis, but without the racket.
I'm LMAO at these two posts.. The meme should read 'a small misspelled midgit medium at large'. It's midget, BTW.You botched this joke.
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lol. I didn’t even realize the mistake on the meme. But that mistake has no bearing on the joke while the absence of the reference to the midget being “clairvoyant” or “psychic” is a joke changer. Without it, he’s just a small at large, with no medium.
This is the place for terrible jokes, not jokes missing key words.
I know. The best part was the botched joke but the combo was too good to let go.
@nctransplant might get fired from the keyboard factory
he was skipping too many shifts. He thinks a return will suffice.
Where do you take someone who's been hurt playing peek-a-boo?
To the ICU
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
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