And now, terrible jokes
- Thread starter Raising Heel
- Start date
I made the decision to be cremated. My wife scheduled me next tuesday
If math is mathematical, and quiz's are quizzical, what are test?
My doctor told me I have the peek a boo virus.
He sent me straight to the I see you.
He sent me straight to the I see you.
My doctor told me I have to stop masturbating. I said “why?”, she said “cause I’m trying to examine you”
How did the cast of Friends survive being lost at sea?
Lisa Kudrow
Which knight invented Arthur’s round table?
Sir Cumference.
Sir Cumference.
I don’t trust stairs. They’re either a major letdown or always up to something.
Well, I would say outside of China and Africa, almost everyone knows Pixar.
What did the Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
Make me one with everything.
I guess we have just discovered that I'm not almost everyone, because I've never been to China or Africa. No worries though, I gave the joke an obligatory chuckle.
Because I'm such a nice guy, I'll modify the joke just for you.
What movie made by the studio that brought you such films as Toy Stoy, Finding Nemo, Monster's Inc, Cars and many more, will Rick Astley never let you borrow?
He's never gonna give you Up. This is funny because he made a song called Never gonna give you up and the movie studio made a movie called Up, so saying he's never going to give you Up is a reference to the movie and the song. Then you give a small chuckle because it's considered a dad joke, which are appropriate for this thread. Bonus is that you learned that the name of the studio is Pixar.
Hope that helps.
you know it didn't really but I appreciate the attempt.
Meanwhile, what is red on top and blue all over and can not be killed?
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady asked me to check her balance so I pushed her down.
An old lady asked me to check her balance so I pushed her down.
It's just a good, deliciously sardonic joke. But what if the holocaust guy went to heaven and told his joke to Jesus, and then said 'guess you had to be there'. That would be funny too because, you know, Jews joking with Jesus about being abandoned by God.
The Buddhist gave a 'twenty' and asked for change, how did the vendor respond?
change must come from within
The Black Eyed Peas can sing us a tune but the Chick Peas can only hummus one.
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