And now, terrible jokes

[JuleZ '02 HEEL]

What kind of music do windmills like?

Spoiler

They're metal fans.

 

[gunslingerdick]

I've been talking to people about the health benefits of eating dried grapes. You know, just raisin awareness.

 

[blazers]

What kind of music do windmills like?

Spoiler

They're metal fans.

Woodwinds.
smdh. Aqualung is as close to metal as you'd get.

 

[bluetoe]

I've been talking to people about the health benefits of eating dried grapes. You know, just raisin awareness.

 

[toophly1124]

What kind of music do windmills like?

Spoiler

They're metal fans.

FFS Julie you’re a jenius!!

 

[JuleZ '02 HEEL]

What happened when the frog's car wouldn't start?

Spoiler

It got toad.

 

[JuleZ '02 HEEL]

I was sad about losing my hair so I bought a cheap wig.

Spoiler

It was a small price toupee.

 

[JuleZ '02 HEEL]

Why did Mrs. Claus keep sending Dasher and Dancer on the coffee run?

Spoiler

They were Santa's star bucks.

 

[gunslingerdick]

^ that joke poses an interesting question - are all of Santa's reindeer male? If so, that may be worthy of canceling. No female representation in this day and age is criminal. And do all of them identify as cis?

 

[JuleZ '02 HEEL]

 

[Grayhead]

^ that joke poses an interesting question - are all of Santa's reindeer male? If so, that may be worthy of canceling. No female representation in this day and age is criminal. And do all of them identify as cis?

With those names, may be a few who had the change. Antler implants and all

 

[Heelicious]

With those names, may be a few who had the change. Antler implants and all

yep - Dancer, Prancer, Vixen totally sus as dudes / bucks

 

[tarheel0910]

Have you heard about the guy going around dipping his balls in glitter?

Spoiler: Spoiler

It's pretty nuts

 

[Heelicious]

Have you heard about the guy going around dipping his balls in glitter?

Spoiler: Spoiler

It's pretty nuts

Maybe Glitter is a stripper name. Still works.

 

[gunslingerdick]

My obese pet parrot finally died yesterday.







It's a huge weight off my shoulders.

 

[bluetoe]

My obese pet parrot finally died yesterday.







It's a huge weight off my shoulders.

 

[tarheel0910]

What do you call someone who doesn't have a body and doesn't have a nose?

Spoiler

Nobody knows

 

[gunslingerdick]

Today we kick off Diarrhea Awareness Week.







Runs until Friday.

 

[gunslingerdick]

My wife dropped the laundry basket.





I just stood there and watched it unfold.

 

[tarheel0910]

A blind man walks into a bar

Spoiler

and a chair, and a table

 

[bluetoe]

A blind man walks into a bar

Spoiler

and a chair, and a table

 

[tarheel0910]

 

[bluetoe]

no hate. Respek.

 

[Hark_The_Sound_2010]

My buddy passed away in the hospital because we couldn't figure out his blood type. But at least he was in good spirits 'til the end, he kept telling us to "be positive".

 

[gunslingerdick]

Three conspiracy theorists walked into a bar...





You can't tell me that's a coincidence.

 

[tarheel0910]

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

 

[JuleZ '02 HEEL]

 

[gunslingerdick]

I got fired from my job at the keyboard manufacturer yesterday.






They said I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

 

[gunslingerdick]

I sprained my ankle digging for gold.





But don't worry. It was a miner injury.

 

[gunslingerdick]

Did you hear about the guy that evaporated?






He will be mist.

 

[gunslingerdick]

I’m considering starting a new diet.









But I just feel like I have too much on my plate right now.

 

[Hark_The_Sound_2010]

Got fired from the sperm bank yesterday. Apparently you're not allowed to say "Welcome, take a load off!" to everyone that comes in.

 

[tarheel0910]

If a black bird has black babies and a blue bird has blue babies, what type of bird has none?

Spoiler

A swallow

 

[gunslingerdick]

My pizza cutter broke. So now I use a Bryan Adams CD.








It cuts like a knife.

 

[JuleZ '02 HEEL]

Why should you always wear good shoes when you race?

Spoiler

So you don't see de feet.

 

[carolinablue34]

 

[gunslingerdick]

Racist. Reported.

 

[gunslingerdick]

I've been trying to come up with a carpentry pun that wood work. I think I've nailed it.

 

[gunslingerdick]

I met a microbiologist the other day. He was much bigger than I expected.

 

[heelmanwilm]

I've been trying to come up with a carpentry pun that wood work. I think I've nailed it.

This post board me