Holiday eating tips

[heelmanwilm]

I’m older than most y’all so I’ve accumulated lots of wisdom when it comes to holiday eating whether it’s family or friend gatherings

1. If anyone puts carrots out or a veggie tray in general just punch them in the face. Ain’t nobody got time for that bull shyt. Olives are acceptable

2. Ask if there’s skim milk in the mashed potatoes. If there is just pass. It’s like a sports car with automatic transmission. The room in your stomache is too precious to waste on anything not fully caloried.

3. Lots of gravy. Gravy on everything. Make a fukin gravy volcano. The whole plate should be afloat in gravy

4. Don’t know which pie to eat? Eat them all. A piece of each. What other day of the year will you have multiple pie choices? If you’re not crazy about one just add lots of cool whip. Follow gravy instructions when applying.

5. No one gaf if it’s dressing or stuffing. Just eat it and know noones is as good as your moms. Don’t forget the gravy

6. Don’t snack before going somewhere for the meal in an effort to not eat as much. This is blasphemy.

7. Fruitcake? Don’t fall for it. Chances are it’s been regifted the last few decades

8. No exercise between tksgiving and christmas. Don’t even try. It’s hopeless. Walking to make room for more food is acceptable.

 

[tarheel0910]

I’m older than most y’all so I’ve accumulated lots of wisdom when it comes to holiday eating whether it’s family or friend gatherings

1. If anyone puts carrots out or a veggie tray in general just punch them in the face. Ain’t nobody got time for that bull shyt. Olives are acceptable

2. Ask if there’s skim milk in the mashed potatoes. If there is just pass. It’s like a sports car with automatic transmission. The room in your stomache is too precious to waste on anything not fully caloried.

3. Lots of gravy. Gravy on everything. Make a fukin gravy volcano. The whole plate should be afloat in gravy

4. Don’t know which pie to eat? Eat them all. A piece of each. What other day of the year will you have multiple pie choices? If you’re not crazy about one just add lots of cool whip. Follow gravy instructions when applying.

5. No one gaf if it’s dressing or stuffing. Just eat it and know noones is as good as your moms. Don’t forget the gravy

6. Don’t snack before going somewhere for the meal in an effort to not eat as much. This is blasphemy.

7. Fruitcake? Don’t fall for it. Chances are it’s been regifted the last few decades

8. No exercise between tksgiving and christmas. Don’t even try. It’s hopeless. Walking to make room for more food is acceptable.

What are your thoughts on gravy?

 

[strummingram]

 

[bluetoe]

I’m older than most y’all so I’ve accumulated lots of wisdom when it comes to holiday eating whether it’s family or friend gatherings

1. If anyone puts carrots out or a veggie tray in general just punch them in the face. Ain’t nobody got time for that bull shyt. Olives are acceptable

2. Ask if there’s skim milk in the mashed potatoes. If there is just pass. It’s like a sports car with automatic transmission. The room in your stomache is too precious to waste on anything not fully caloried.

3. Lots of gravy. Gravy on everything. Make a fukin gravy volcano. The whole plate should be afloat in gravy

4. Don’t know which pie to eat? Eat them all. A piece of each. What other day of the year will you have multiple pie choices? If you’re not crazy about one just add lots of cool whip. Follow gravy instructions when applying.

5. No one gaf if it’s dressing or stuffing. Just eat it and know noones is as good as your moms. Don’t forget the gravy

6. Don’t snack before going somewhere for the meal in an effort to not eat as much. This is blasphemy.

7. Fruitcake? Don’t fall for it. Chances are it’s been regifted the last few decades

8. No exercise between tksgiving and christmas. Don’t even try. It’s hopeless. Walking to make room for more food is acceptable.

I wholeheartedly second 2, 3, 5 and 3, and 3 one more time (needs to be giblet gravy). Gravy on everything, and then sop any that might have gotten past the stuff you put it on. Then turn the plate up and lick it clean of any traces, especially if you have some stuffy relatives.

But I have to dispute 7. I might be the only guy on the planet that actually likes fruitcake although I very seldom eat it.

On the other hand, someone used to make fruitcake cookies for me and I could eat my weight in them, and I've tried. I'd go for them if they were surrounded by apple pie and blackberry cobbler, and I'd stab your grandmother in the face for those things.

 

[bluetoe]

since it's been broached, let's settle the ongoing stuffing/dressing controversy. It's stuffing if it's cooked inside the turkey (STUFFing, get it?) and dressing if it isn't. And as a rule stuffing kicks dressing's ass, although I'm not turning down any dressing either.

So that settles that. The only thing left to argue is what best goes in them.

 

[tarheel0910]

since it's been broached, let's settle the ongoing stuffing/dressing controversy. It's stuffing if it's cooked inside the turkey (STUFFing, get it?) and dressing if it isn't. And as a rule stuffing kicks dressing's ass, although I'm not turning down any dressing either.

So that settles that. The only thing left to argue is what best goes in them.

I think we've had this discussion on OOTB before. This is the position I took, so obviously that means you're right.

 

[heelmanwilm]

Tr

What are your thoughts on gravy?

Purdy good

 

[bluetoe]

I think we've had this discussion on OOTB before. This is the position I took, so obviously that means you're right.

of course we've had this discussion before. If one started a board re: the future of space travel, at this time of year someone would start a thread on whether stuffing or dressing should be freeze-dried and sent into space. Then there would be the usual argument over which is stuffing and which is dressing.

We waste too much time on politics and the economy and all that kind of crap. Sometimes we just need to get down to what's really important, and that time is now..

 

[heelmanwilm]

I’ve cooked my turkey on charcoal last couple times and that shyt rocks. Gotta use indirect heat and takes a lot of time and attention but it is damn delicious and it enables you to stand outside and drink and avoid the chaos inside. This year I have an outside tv too so I can watch the games while I “cook”

 

[bluetoe]

I’ve cooked my turkey on charcoal last couple times and that shyt rocks. Gotta use indirect heat and takes a lot of time and attention but it is damn delicious and it enables you to stand outside and drink and avoid the chaos inside. This year I have an outside tv too so I can watch the games while I “cook”

me too. And I assume you add some wood chips and smoke it. If you don't you're missing the best part. Apple, pecan, hickory and oak are the ones I've used and the results are awesomely tasty. And if you like leftover turkey sandwiches, the flavor seems to intensify with time.

 

[KeeLo]

Have you ever had tamales? I didn't until last year, day before Thanksgiving. On the day after Thanksgiving, I had a severe stomach illness. I didn't find out until months later that I wasn't supposed to eat the husk wrapper. Be wise and don't be like me.

 

[heelmanwilm]

Have you ever had tamales? I didn't until last year, day before Thanksgiving. On the day after Thanksgiving, I had a severe stomach illness. I didn't find out until months later that I wasn't supposed to eat the husk wrapper. Be wise and don't be like me.

 

[bluetoe]

Have you ever had tamales? I didn't until last year, day before Thanksgiving. On the day after Thanksgiving, I had a severe stomach illness. I didn't find out until months later that I wasn't supposed to eat the husk wrapper. Be wise and don't be like me.

other than ripping your stomach apart, how were they? Tamales are delicious.

 

[prlyles]

other than ripping your stomach apart, how were they? Tamales are delicious.

There is something in the spices I just don’t like.

 

[bluetoe]

There is something in the spices I just don’t like.

The spices used depends on who's making them. I wouldn't pass a tamale up based on one experience.

 

[UNC '92]

There is something in the spices I just don’t like.

What do you think are in those spices? The chilis in the chili powder? The peppers in the pepper? The salt in the salt? The cumin in the cumin?

 

[Grayhead]

@heelmanwilm ,
Did you get your churkeychanga on this year?

Pro tip!!
Roasted oysters for thanksgiving is acceptable in coastal NC

 

[heelmanwilm]

@heelmanwilm ,
Did you get your churkeychanga on this year?

Pro tip!!
Roasted oysters for thanksgiving is acceptable in coastal NC

Hell yea! Me and my son have a comp every year on who eats the most over the course of the three weeks they offer them. He had 5 this year to my 3.

And another hell yea for roasted oysters. We put some on the grill to pop open while the turkey was smoking. Amazing

I’m adding fried gizzards to my must have now. My bro in law brought a couple pints of raw ones. We deep fried them and they were amazing. Plus everyone else thought they seemed disgusting and wouldn’t try them so we had all to ourselves

 

[bluetoe]

Hell yea! Me and my son have a comp every year on who eats the most over the course of the three weeks they offer them. He had 5 this year to my 3.

And another hell yea for roasted oysters. We put some on the grill to pop open while the turkey was smoking. Amazing

I’m adding fried gizzards to my must have now. My bro in law brought a couple pints of raw ones. We deep fried them and they were amazing. Plus everyone else thought they seemed disgusting and wouldn’t try them so we had all to ourselves

love me some fried gizzards. And livers. And oysters any way.

 

[blazers]

Hung out with some people with go crazy with braunschweiger over the holidays. On little cracker sandwhiches and they also made a cheeseball out of it. I'm not much a pate person but this stuff was good.

 

[bluetoe]

Hung out with some people with go crazy with braunschweiger over the holidays. On little cracker sandwhiches and they also made a cheeseball out of it. I'm not much a pate person but this stuff was good.

or liverwurst, which is almost the same thing. I actually had my hands on a package of Braunschweiger in the grocery store yesterday and decided to pass on it because I have too much other food I need to use. But I love it, on crackers or in a *sandwich. Now I'm pissed I didn't get it.

I wonder how some on a cracker with an oyster would be.

*ETA the best liverwurst sandwich to me is on lightly toasted deli rye or pumpernickel bread with mayonnaise. A lot of people add raw onions but they don't agree with me. Good dill pickle slices work though.

 

[nctransplant]

or liverwurst, which is almost the same thing. I actually had my hands on a package of Braunschweiger in the grocery store yesterday and decided to pass on it because I have too much other food I need to use. But I love it, on crackers or in a sandwich. Now I'm pissed I didn't get it.

I wonder how some on a cracker with an oyster would be.

People out here love that stuff.

 

[bluetoe]

People out here love that stuff.

I don't know if you're including yourself in that or not, but if you haven't tried it you're missing out.

 

[nctransplant]

I don't know if you're including yourself in that or not, but if you haven't tried it you're missing out.

I can eat it. Not something I crave though.

 

[heelmanwilm]

My daughter made a cranberry cobbler which I’ve never heard of or let alone tasted, and if it weren’t my daughter I never would. But that shyt rocked.

 

[bluetoe]

My daughter made a cranberry cobbler which I’ve never heard of or let alone tasted, and if it weren’t my daughter I never would. But that shyt rocked.

I can believe it. I make real cranberry sauce when the whole cranberries are available, because I crave that tart/sweet kind of thing. Cobbler would have to be even better.

 

[prlyles]

or liverwurst, which is almost the same thing. I actually had my hands on a package of Braunschweiger in the grocery store yesterday and decided to pass on it because I have too much other food I need to use. But I love it, on crackers or in a *sandwich. Now I'm pissed I didn't get it.

I wonder how some on a cracker with an oyster would be.

*ETA the best liverwurst sandwich to me is on lightly toasted deli rye or pumpernickel bread with mayonnaise. A lot of people add raw onions but they don't agree with me. Good dill pickle slices work though.

Are you talking about liverwurst or livermush? I have never ate liverwurst with onions.

 

[bluetoe]

Are you talking about liverwurst or livermush? I have never ate liverwurst with onions.

liverwurst, although liver mush would probably be about the same with onions. I don't know though, because I won't eat either one with raw onions.